Oh, crap
OK, when cows start eating chickens, you know that something is seriously wrong. Unfortunately, that's exactly what has been happening in India, where a local farmer has video evidence that one of his calves has been eating his chickens alive. If this doesn't freak you out, I should probably warn you that this is one of the five signs of the coming apocalypse that an old fortune teller revealed to me many years ago:
1. First: the apes will lead man to war (Dubya got elected).
2. Second: the brain-dead will populate the earth (Britney is having kids faster than we can count).
3. Third: the seas will rise and drown the land (see "An Inconvenient Truth").
4. Fourth: animals will render the flesh of their brethren (cows eating chickens).
5. Fifth: I will no longer be able to bench-press buses or cause women to melt with my come-hither stare.
And you thought I look this good out of vanity. I'm saving lives here, people.
3 comments:
How does a cow catch a chicken? Creep up on it while it’s asleep and sit on it? Chickens may not fly but they sure can run and they corner like they’re on rails. That’s why I always get my chicken at Chick-fil-A. They catch it and kill it for me. I'm slow. They also deep fat fry it. I feel this improves the taste however; I’ve never eating a chicken alive so I can’t really say.
I can't say Chick-Fil-A. It always comes out Chick-A-Fil. I have no idea why.
Excellent points all, Mr. Harris. Let's ignore the "why" for the moment and focus on the "how" it managed to pin a chicken. I guess we could ask the cow itself, but we would have to be very diplomatic, as bovines tend to be rather sensitive when it comes to personal questions. Perhaps simply phrasing it thus would be best: "How now, brown cow?"
Post a Comment