Take my wife, please

No, I'm not talking about Pegs. I'm talking about the case of Ted Roberts, a Texas attorney who was found guilty on two counts of theft and one count of a continuing course and scheme to commit theft of $100,000 for threatening litigation against two men who had affairs with his wife unless they compensated him. The kicker? The jury found him not guilty of theft from two other men to whom he had made the same threats. His wife, who is also an attorney and reputedly very popular with her clients, is still awaiting trial on the same charges.

I didn't major in mathematics, but Pegs did back at Francis Marion, and she's pretty certain that 2 affairs + 2 affairs + one marriage = nymphomaniacal slut. I'm not too clear on the finer details of the formula (Pegs said something about carrying the one and finding the square root of fidelity), but I looked it up on the Internet and it turns out that she's right.

Remember the good old days when if you wanted to blackmail somebody you just went out and hired a prostitute to take lewd pictures of them together and then threatened to send them to his family? I can appreciate that this guy wanted to make sure that the woman involved wouldn't rat him out to the cops, but that's why you only use hookers who don't speak English. And then you kill them, chop up the body and dispose of the parts in various garbage dumps around town. At least, that's what they taught us to do in law school.