From the Mouth of Sofia (Conception Edition)

The other night I went over to Nik and Young's house for a family dinner. When I arrived, Papou was watching a nature program about the gestation of human fetuses, complete with "video" from inside the womb. I only watched a small snippet of the documentary before it was time to eat, but the girls were all glued to the TV with an air of concentration usually only seen on the face of bomb squad members right before they cut the blue wire. Two days later, Sofia was talking about Lucas again and the topic of babies came up.

Sofia:  Daddy, I'm going to have a baby girl and name her "Aurora" and a baby boy and name him "Lee"!

Me: That's sweet, Sofia.

Sofia: Yeah, babies happen when snakes come from the ocean and they swim to the big ball.

Me (genuinely confused): Snakes? What are you talking about, Sofia?

Sofia: Um, Daddy, there are a bunch of snakes with big round heads and they come from the ocean and then swim to the big ball like this. [Lies face-down on the floor with her arms by her side and shakes like she's having an epileptic seizure]

Me (with dawning comprehension): Ohhhh. Big-headed snakes, huh?

Sofia: Yeah, Daddy!  And they swim to the big ball and then one of them will go into the big ball and then the ball will go out to the ocean to where the flowers are and then the man will play some music and if the baby likes the music he'll dance like this.  [Twitches spasmodically like she's recovering from an epileptic seizure]

I can only assume that there was a point in the program where a doctor played some music near a pregnant woman's belly to demonstrate a fetus' ability to hear and react to sound, which explained the last part of Sofia's convoluted explanation of conception. Still, it's remarkable how much she retained about the program and, while her comprehension was grossly inaccurate in a number of respects, how she managed to understand the basics behind the process. Given how much she remembered the first time around, maybe I should DVR that program to make the eventual birds and the bees talk that much easier. I know it would have made my understanding of conception a bit less traumatic.