Lesson of the Day

As a public service to all women, I am starting a Lesson of the Day post for all the men out there. Actually, scratch that, it is for all of the heterosexual men out there. Now, hetero men, in the event there is no Lesson of Day post on any particular day, you are instructed to go back to the first Lesson of the Day post and re-read all of the prior Lesson of Day posts in chronological order. If you don't understand, find your woman, ask her to read this for you and then ask her to explain it to you. If she says no, then you are in deeper trouble than I thought and you should probably just turn gay.

Lesson of the Day: How to fill the ice-cube trays

You know when you want ice cubes and you go to the freezer and you take ice cubes out of those cute little trays in the freezer? Well, and try to remain calm when you read this, those ice cubes don't magically get made. There are no little fairies that flutter into the freezer when you aren't looking and put water in those trays so that you can have ice when you need it. Now, I know that deep, deep, deep down inside you know this. Otherwise, how did you have ice before you started living with a woman? Exactly. So, I'm going to do you a favor and I am going to re-teach you how to make ice cubes. Now, turn off the playstation, turn down the volume on the porn, take your hand out of your pants, take your finger out of your nose, wipe your butt and get out of the bathroom, or stop whatever else it is you're doing and read carefully.

When you have taken the ice out of the tray and put them in your glass, don't put the tray back in the freezer. Take the tray to the sink, turn on the water, hold the tray under the faucet and let the water fill up the tray. When the tray is full, take it back to the freezer, open the freezer door and place the tray inside in the position you found it. Don't jam it in anywhere you find room. If you don't drink water from the tap, then don't use the tap water to fill up the tray. Use the water pitcher or the bottle or whatever, and fill up the ice tray with that.

Future lessons will include: how to replace the toilet roll; how to put your dirty socks in the hamper and not leave them wherever you happen to take them off; and, how to play the "Let's See Who Can Be Quiet The Longest" game. Although the last one may only apply to women dating or married to Vanderpool men, you never know when it may come in handy.