What would Jesus do?
You know when you have to make a decision about something but you just can't make up your mind. And you think to yourself, "What would Jesus do?" Well, now They have made it easier for you to find out! It's the USB Digital Bible! On a key chain! Now, you can never leave home without it. Unless, of course, you forget your keys. Ha, ha, ha. Just to be safe though, you should probably buy two and have the second one surgically implanted into your arm. It's what Jesus would do!
4 comments:
This post reminds me:
During the recent ascent of Pope Benedict XVI, it came to the attention of my friend Stuart Ponder's father that the papacy is an elected position. As such, Mr. Ponder has come to the obvious conclusion that he stands a chance at winning said papacy. If elected, he has decided to take the name Condor I.
As one of the coordinators for His-hopeful-Holiness Condor's grassroots campaign, I would like to urge all of you Catholic or pseudo-Catholic readers (or anyone, really) to write/call/stalk your local Bishop or, if possible, Cardinal and voice your support for our compromise(d) candidate. For those interested, there are also commemorative "Condor for Pope" keychains available for a small donation (or request).
Condor I: Chances are, he's better than the alernatives*
* Campaign for Condor makes no promises as to the efficacy or ethics of Condor I's actual papacy.
Derek, have you been drinking again?
Yes, but what I posted is still true.
As campaign coordinator for His-hopeful-Holiness Condor's grassroots campaign and (if elected) Special Counsel for the Vatican and Pope Condor I, allow me to assue you that Derek's post is accurate.
My father, Warren Ponder, is indeed throwing his hat into the ring for the papcy. He has begun a grass roots campaign, and, as noted by Derek, is one of our best compromise(d) candidate.
His qualifications are second to none. He has no baggage that the media can latch onto, and no skeletons in his closet that could cause embarassment to the office, unlike some of the other candidates.
His platform is one of moderate reform. For example, he is in favor of females serving as priests, legalizing marriage amongst the priests, legalizing contraceptives of all kinds, allowing for gay marriage, doing away with all that "ritual stuff", and other mild reforms. Furthermore, the hopeful pope has taken an anti-Notre Dame stance, and is pulling for the LSU Tigers in the up-coming Sugar Bowl.*
*This message has been approved by His-hopeful-Holiness Condor's grassroots campaign and His-hopeful-Holiness Condor I.
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