Fashion Unconscious

I've never claimed to be the snazziest dresser of all time, but with the exception of that one time I accidentally wore my underwear outside of my pants, I can generally pick out clothes that avoid drawing attention to myself. This morning, however, I passed by someone whom I can only hope was on leave from some sort of psychiatric facility or was newly arrived to our planet. Her outfit included the following:

- checker-patterned red and black tights;

- silver heels;

- some sort of blouse made out of shiny black material, like Hefty garbage bags or duct tape;

- a purple jacket (think Prince in Purple Rain);

- silver lip gloss that made her look like she had either just gone skiing or finished sucking the chrome off of a trailer hitch; and

- huge wrap-around sunglasses (the kind favored by welders).

Not everyone can be a Gianni Versace or even a Gloria Vanderbilt, but odds are that if my two year old niece can put together a better ensemble for her Mr. Potato Head than the outfit you have on, you need to dig a little harder into your closet.