Papa was a rolling stone

When you think about Keith Richards, which I do on average every five to six seconds, a few things probably pop into your head: (1) rock legend, (2) Johnny Depp muse and (3) unparalleled consumption of drugs. In an interview with the music magazine NME on Tuesday, however, Keith admitted to having snorted something a little more extreme than his usual blend of coke, heroin and meth:

"The strangest thing I've tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father. He was cremated, and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared, he didn't give a shit. It went down pretty well, and I'm still alive."

I've had a lot of weird urges in my lifetime, but most of them involved chocolate and/or baby oil. I'd like to state for the record that I have never had to resist grinding Poppa Pool up and snorting him with a little bit of blow, as delicious as it may sound. In fact, let me just point out here and now that the only time it might be acceptable to even consider the impulse to ingest a relative is if you'd completely given up hope about getting off that deserted island and your family had been magically transformed into pepperoni pizza. Even then it would be a close call depending on whether it was deep dish or thin crust.