From the mouth of Pegs (double feature)

Frustrated by my constant attempts to touch her belly:

Pegs: Cut it out.

Me (whining): But I want to touch the baaaabyyyy.

Pegs (sternly): No.... Grow your own baby.

Walking by a mailbox with residents' names printed on it:

Me: Did you see the name on that mailbox?

Pegs: Which one?

Me: The one that said "Banal". How funny is that for a last name? "Banal".

Pegs: Yeah, that's pretty funny. (Pause) Although it would have been funnier if it had been, like, "Asswipe" or something.

Me: ....

Pegs (whimsically): Man, I wish my last name were "Asswipe".

Me: I wish it were, too. 'Cause then you probably would have changed your name when we got married.

Pegs: I dunno, what if your last name had been "Smelly" or something? "Smelly-Asswipe" would have been pretty bad.