An open letter to God

Dear God,

I don't ask you for much (unless you count all those requests I made this morning, and considering that I don't see Alessandra Ambrosio walking around my office in high heels with a can of whipped cream in her hand, you shouldn't). Anyway, like I was saying, I don't ask you for much, so I'm hoping that you could find it in that great big omnipresent heart of yours to help the New Orleans Saints defeat the Indianapolis Colts this evening in their nationally television meeting. Please give them the edge they need to vanquish their foe and overcome any obstacles that may lie in their path. Please allow them to play mightily, valiantly and without error in this critical match-up against the defending Super Bowl champions. Please, oh Lord, let the Saints beat down Peyton Manning until he cries like Nancy Kerrigan, let them pummel their offensive line mercilessly and abuse their secondary like little bitches, let them run through the Indy D-line like so much shit through a goose. In short, Lord, please let the Saints kick the ever-living bejesus out of them. In your name I pray, amen.

Update: Dear God, thanks for nothing.