(Pregnant) Mouth of Pegs
As our OB/GYN put it this morning, one of the few advantages of pregnancy is that you're entitled to say whatever you want and get away with it. This is doubly true for certain expecting mothers, like Pegs, who are constantly itchy and get no more than two hours of sleep at a time.
While having lunch with Mama Pool, Pegs tried vainly to complete a thought while I constantly butted in to add "key" details. With impeccably poor timing, Mama Pool interrupted her right as Pegs muttered under her breath (loudly), "I can't even finish a fucking sentence," producing profuse apologies from Mama Pool, equally profuse apologies from Pegs and gales of laughter from me.
9 comments:
Way to go, Lee. Way to make both of the ladies of your life uncomfortable due to your assiness (it's a word now...i'm sticking with it)
I say, quietly gaze at Lee while he is interrupting you. Do not let him know that anything is wrong. When you hold his eye contact, stab him in the hand with your fork. If he questions your behaviour, tell him that it is nearly impossible for you to maintain control of your utensils while being interrupted.
In a similar, albeit less violent, tone as Eric's proposal, buy a water gun. Each time Lee (or anyone else, really) interrupts you, shoot him in the face. I'm told that water pistols are an excellent tool for training pets, so they might work with husbands. Plus, you get the added bonus of shooting someone in the face, which feels reeeeaaaallly good.
Derek, if you want the police to stop investigating you in connection with the murders of all those hookers who got shot in the face, you really need to stop making comments like that.
That's true.
Derek, you are so totally right! Violence is not the answer.
I had an idiotic comment come across a conference table during a long meeting once. So, I leaned back, grabbed a push pin off the wall, pricked the top of my water bottle and "wet-crotched" the guy under the table for 20 seconds before noticing. I think I could have done it longer, but I was laughing too hard.
I am realizing that I am not fit for any other profession.
Plus, any time I attempt to harm Lee, generally attempting to tackle him into snow, he pretty much deflects me easily.
Not true, Eric. That's actually a standard negotiating technique employed by finance lawyers. You would have made a great attorney.
He's wily like that. You have to pinch the tender, fleshy, underside of his upper arm. Renders him completely defenseless.
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