From the Mouth of Sofia: Baby Changing Edition

The night that Sofia and I were scheduled to fly home from Disney World, I got a message about an hour before our flight notifying me that the flight had been cancelled. Shortly thereafter, I received another message saying that a new flight had been scheduled leaving at 11:30. Aside from feeling frustrated, I was a bit concerned about Sofia having an accident on the plane or in the airport while we waited, so I decided to take her to the bathroom and put a diaper on her. When we got to the bathroom, I realized that it didn't have a diaper changing station, which I thought was weird because (a) we were in Orlando, where kids outnumber adults by about 10:1, (b) there was plenty of room for them to have put one in and (c) I remember hearing about a successful lawsuit by a father who was forced to use a ladies' room to change his child's diaper. After asking around, I was told that there was a single gender-neutral changing station two floors down, which required about a five-minute walk with Sofia and all our luggage in tow.

We finally arrived at the bathroom, which was a rather large single-stall room outside of the baggage claim area. I had Sofia pee first, and then once she was done, I decided that I should go, too. I asked her to stand in the corner while I went and proceeded to go about my business, when from behind me I heard her exclaim (in a not too hushed tone), "Daddy, I love your penis!" 

Trying not to look too shocked (or flattered), I quickly zipped up and turned to Sofia. "Sweetie, we don't say that we love Daddy's penis." Sofia was clearly hurt. "Why, Daddy?" This was a delicate moment, since I didn't want Sofia to develop body issues or censor herself too much, but I also didn't want her proclaiming her love for my genitals in a crowded airport or airplane. "Because Daddy's penis is private, and your vagina is private. Daddy wouldn't say that he loves your vagina, because it's private." This provoked even more woeful looks from Sofia, who started to cry. "Why are you crying, Sofia?" Between sniffles, she said, "You don't like my vagina?" Noble intentions on my part, but I need to work on the delivery.