The Throne Room
There were a lot of comments to Pegs' Miss Manners post earlier, so I thought that I would do the responsible thing and light a match to clear the air. Yes, I admit it: I've been known to take the phone into the bathroom with me on occasion, but in my defense, not all of you out there have had to test the limits of your bladder's endurance while on a marathon phone call with Mama Pool. The simple fact is that there are times when Nature is calling on the other line, and there's not much you can do to avoid conferencing her in.As bad as that may sound (especially if you ate Indian the night before), I have to ask: what's the real harm in taking a call in the boom-boom room? I mean, assuming certain elementary precautions are taken (firm grip on the phone at all times; covering the microphone or hitting mute when doing your duty or flushing said duty down the drain; never switching hands between activities, etc.), no one need be the wiser and no one gets hurt.
The only thing that surprises me is that I don't take more of my calls in the bathroom. The john is one of my last refuges, my sanctum sanctorum if you will (no, Rachel, I didn't say "santorum"), a place where I can cut loose literally and figuratively without the risk of interruption or criticism. There's a reason why I like to refer to it as the Throne Room; only atop that porcelain dais can I truly feel like the king of my household (the bedroom, kitchen and other living areas having been ceded to Panagiota in the Marriage Treaty of 2005).
But you know what? I kind of like it that way. After all, what better place is there for me to catch up on some light reading, work on that Su Doku puzzle or polish off the last few bites of that ham and cheese sandwich? If Pegs would finally get around to approving my applications to install a flat screen monitor, PS2, mini-fridge and hi-fi stereo in there, I'd probably never leave.
4 comments:
I agree. The Throne Room is the one place where you can be assured of no interruptions. It is the one place where each man or woman is truly the master of their domain, given the fact that no one else would want to intrude during the act. Quiet time is very hard to get these days. Everyone should cherish their brief moments of peace and tranquility that can be found in the Throne Room. But talking on the phone is a faux pas!
Why on earth have you associated ME with santorum? Ewwwww. Senator Rick Santorum grosses me out.
I only have one thing to say. When have you ever covered the microphone or hit mute when doing your duty or flushing said duty down the drain? You adhere more to the flush and run method. WE CAN STILL HEAR YOU.
And I can tell you right now mister, your applications are DE-nied!
Okay, that was two things.
First off, your adoration of the Throne Room as a place of refuge goes directly against using the phone in said sacred place. If you want your privacy, have it. Don't bring other people in there, poopy pants.
Second, the obvious solution when faced with simultaneous calls from Nature and Mama Pool is to either tell Mom you'll call right back or pass her off to someone else temporarily.
Third, you're mean to Mom. Apologize now, mister.
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