Grocery store or gateway to hell?
Yesterday, I had what can only be described as the weirdest grocery store experience ever. It started out innocently enough. I was on my way home from a very long, and very windy, walk and decided to stop by the grocery store to pick up something to cook for dinner. There are usually one or two HUGs sitting outside of the grocery store. Sometimes they accost you, sometimes they are so drunk or high that they can't function.
Yesterday's HUG was a young-ish kid in his early 20s. He was so high his eyes looked like they were permanently rolled up towards the back of his head. Walking a little bit ahead of me was this very-chunky-for-a-French-chick woman. I can't describe the mixed feelings of joy and trepidation when I saw her pause as she looked at him. I thought it would be okay when she decided to keep walking. But, alas, two seconds later she paused again and looked back. Then she kept walking. Then she paused. I could see her inner turmoil as she struggled to make a decision as to whether to stop or not. Finally, her inner, bitchy French-ness won and she turned back to have a little chat with Stoned Boy. Now, I have no idea what she said to him because I was exhausted from walking into the wind for the past three hours and decided not to stop and listen, but, if you have read my prior posts on HUGs, you can use your imagination. In fact, I give you permission to embellish.
One thing that was kind of odd (assuming that what I've described above is "normal"), was that there were two other kids that were hanging back and scoping out Stoned Boy. I have a feeling they were looking for a good opportunity to steal the baseball cap full of coins that he had sitting in front of him. But if you are going to sit stoned out of your mind with your hard-earned baseball cap collected money in front of a grocery store on a very busy street during the semi-annuals sales, you get what you deserve.
The shopping experience itself was a bit annoying, but that was my own fault. I was trying to figure out off the top of my head what to make for dinner yesterday and for a dinner party this weekend. After 30 minutes of putting stuff in my cart, taking them out, putting them back on the shelf and then repeating this process all over again, I was beyond frustrated.
Finally, I was done shopping and I headed to the checkout. If you've ever been to the grocery store with me, you'll recall how much importance I place on choosing the fastest moving line. I generally hate shopping with another person, except when it comes to the grocery store. If there is another person with me, I make them stand in another line to see which one will be fastest. Yeah, I know it's a bit psycho, but whatever.
Yesterday it was relatively slow and so there were two people max in each line. There was even one register that was completely free, but the little green arrow wasn't lit, so I decided that maybe the bored looking cashier was on a break. Instead I chose another line where one woman was paying and another woman was waiting. For the first few minutes I was distracted looking at the stuff they put near the register to tempt you. When I happened to look up to see why I hadn't moved yet, what did I see? The woman that was paying was trying to pay her entire bill in coins. Small coins. Bronze coins. I looked around to see if I should move to another line and of course I notice that the bored cashier was actually not on a break she just hadn't turned on her green arrow in what I can only assume was an attempt to avoid working. I decided not to choose her line on principal and instead I moved to another line where there was only one woman. Now, I know some of you may not believe me, but this is the absolute truth. The woman's bill was 13.98. And guess what she pulled out of her purse to pay with? Small, bronze coins.
Yesterday's HUG was a young-ish kid in his early 20s. He was so high his eyes looked like they were permanently rolled up towards the back of his head. Walking a little bit ahead of me was this very-chunky-for-a-French-chick woman. I can't describe the mixed feelings of joy and trepidation when I saw her pause as she looked at him. I thought it would be okay when she decided to keep walking. But, alas, two seconds later she paused again and looked back. Then she kept walking. Then she paused. I could see her inner turmoil as she struggled to make a decision as to whether to stop or not. Finally, her inner, bitchy French-ness won and she turned back to have a little chat with Stoned Boy. Now, I have no idea what she said to him because I was exhausted from walking into the wind for the past three hours and decided not to stop and listen, but, if you have read my prior posts on HUGs, you can use your imagination. In fact, I give you permission to embellish.
One thing that was kind of odd (assuming that what I've described above is "normal"), was that there were two other kids that were hanging back and scoping out Stoned Boy. I have a feeling they were looking for a good opportunity to steal the baseball cap full of coins that he had sitting in front of him. But if you are going to sit stoned out of your mind with your hard-earned baseball cap collected money in front of a grocery store on a very busy street during the semi-annuals sales, you get what you deserve.
The shopping experience itself was a bit annoying, but that was my own fault. I was trying to figure out off the top of my head what to make for dinner yesterday and for a dinner party this weekend. After 30 minutes of putting stuff in my cart, taking them out, putting them back on the shelf and then repeating this process all over again, I was beyond frustrated.
Finally, I was done shopping and I headed to the checkout. If you've ever been to the grocery store with me, you'll recall how much importance I place on choosing the fastest moving line. I generally hate shopping with another person, except when it comes to the grocery store. If there is another person with me, I make them stand in another line to see which one will be fastest. Yeah, I know it's a bit psycho, but whatever.
Yesterday it was relatively slow and so there were two people max in each line. There was even one register that was completely free, but the little green arrow wasn't lit, so I decided that maybe the bored looking cashier was on a break. Instead I chose another line where one woman was paying and another woman was waiting. For the first few minutes I was distracted looking at the stuff they put near the register to tempt you. When I happened to look up to see why I hadn't moved yet, what did I see? The woman that was paying was trying to pay her entire bill in coins. Small coins. Bronze coins. I looked around to see if I should move to another line and of course I notice that the bored cashier was actually not on a break she just hadn't turned on her green arrow in what I can only assume was an attempt to avoid working. I decided not to choose her line on principal and instead I moved to another line where there was only one woman. Now, I know some of you may not believe me, but this is the absolute truth. The woman's bill was 13.98. And guess what she pulled out of her purse to pay with? Small, bronze coins.
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