The Littlest Pool

The Littlest Pool (a.k.a. Damien) just ended his spring break and is heading back to L.A. The Dame-ster was awesome enough to spend the last two days of his vacation with us here in Paris, and even though the weather was kinda crappy yesterday and we weren't able to take that tandem bike ride or go skeet shooting like I had planned, we still managed to have a good time.

Being stuck inside for a good part of the day, though, we started looking for something to do and naturally turned to the Sony Corporation for some entertainment. As you've probably already guessed, I can be a bit of a nut when it comes to PlayStation football, especially when I have the difficulty settings turned up high and the competitive juices start flowing. Damien and I decided to play together against the computer (I was QB and Damien was either the wide receiver or running back, depending on the play), and despite our best efforts and what The Wall Street Journal has often described as "superhuman skills" we were losing the game with time running out. Frustrated at our performance, and also a little hungry for some lunch, I turned to Damien and began the following conversation:

Me: "Why don't you take a shower and then let's get the fuck out of here?"

Damien (dejectedly): "Ok".

(Damien puts down the controller and starts trudging off to the shower)

Me (internally): "Poor little guy. He wanted to win even more than I did. What a trooper."

(I turn off the TV and PlayStation)

Damien (looking up in surprise): "What are you doing?"

Me: "I'm going to get dressed while you shower so we can go get lunch."

Damien: "Oh. I thought you were going to keep playing while I got ready."

Me (confused): "No, dude. Didn't I just say that you should take a shower so we can get out of here?"

Damien (dawn of comprehension breaking over his rugged features): "Ohhhhhhh. I thought you were pissed at me for making you lose the game. Didn't you say, 'Why don't you take a shower and get the fuck out of here?'"

Me: "Um, no. I said that you should take a shower so we could both get out of here and have something to eat."

Damien (happy again): "Oh, ok. That's different."

I know that I have a bad reputation for wanting to win all the time, but I would have to be pretty vicious to tell my own brother to stop playing so I could beat the computer on my own. I mean, just because I threw that chop-block at Mom during the last family football game doesn't mean that I'd do anything to win. It probably doesn't strengthen my case given that she was on my own team, but in my defense she had already dropped two passes and can't tackle for shit.