Friday, September 21, 2007

I do run, run, run ... I do run, run

I did something very stupid this morning. My partner (let's just call him "Mr. T") is training for a half-marathon in October. Mr. T has, as a result, enthusiastically been trying to convince me and my fellow associates to join him for his morning runs in the Jardins des Tuileries. The first couple of times I demurred, saying that I prefer to jog in the gym downstairs, but for some reason yesterday I caved. I don't know why. Sometimes I just open my mouth and say "yes" when I mean to say "no". I only missed by one word....

Anyway, we met in front of the office bright and early this morning and started our run. By way of explanation, I haven't been exercising regularly since before the summer. In fact, I've only just started working out again this week, so I'm admittedly a bit out of shape (unless you count "pearlike" as a shape). The most I've run in months was two miles in one go, but even that was pushing it. This morning Mr. T started at a fairly brisk clip, and the cold morning air immediately attacked my lungs and throat. I made the mistake of trying to talk while I ran, which only exacerbated the strain on my weakened pulmonary system. After one lap I could see my breath. After two laps I could see the steam coming off of my face. After three laps (a little over two miles), I called it quits. Mr. T, however, continued jogging at the same rhythm and with the same measured breath for another four laps, and when he finished I was still sweating more than he was. I swear, the man is like a cross between Patrick Dempsey and Mighty Mouse, only with smaller ears and better maintained facial hair. The only thing missing is his cape.

Sadly, I've come to the realization that my body is just not made to run long distances. If you need to push or pull something heavy over a very short distance, I'm your man. If you need to reach something on the top shelf and don't have a stepladder, look no further. But if you need someone to carry a message on foot over to the next town in a hurry, better go ask someone else. If I had been born a gazelle, I'd be the one you see on nature films getting eaten by lions after only a ten-second chase.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

No disrespect, Lee...but I wouldnt trust you to push or pull anything heavy over any distance. But I still love ya, guy!

Anonymous said...

Did Mr. T by any chance pity the fool who tried to run with him?