Is that a bouguette in your pocket?

A couple of days ago Yia Yia was setting up the table for dinner and brought out two loaves of French bread, otherwise known as baguettes. I asked Pegs why she had bought two loaves, and Yia Yia responded that she had bought the bread that morning.

"Really?" I asked. "That's great. How did you ask for it?"

"I ask for two bouguettes," Yia Yia replied.

Here's a chance for a little fun, I thought to myself. "You do know what 'bouguette' means, right? It doesn't mean 'bread'."

Pegs suddenly got interested. "Really? What does it mean?"

"Well, how can I put this? It's, um, it's, it's a rather crude way of referring to stimulated male genitalia." This of course produced a howl of laughter from Pegs and caused her mother to turn beet red, at which point I decided to take it up a notch. "Yeah, and your mom asked for two of them."

Even more laughter ensued, and Yia Yia tried to hide her face in her hands. "This is too good," Pegs said as she fought off tears. "I have to call my sister." She dialled Niki up and relayed the story, prompting Niki to bust out laughing as well. Yia Yia meanwhile furiously tried to deny it all, scolding Pegs for telling such vicious rumors and embarrassing her.

Finally, I decided I couldn't let it go on any more, so I told the truth: bouguette doesn't mean anything in French. Pegs was visibly disappointed, but at least she had a good chuckle.

Fast-forward to this afternoon. Pegs and Yia Yia came to my office to eat lunch and have Sofia's passport pictures taken at a nearby photo shop. As we made our way down the street, we walked by a number of clothing stores, some selling upscale lingerie and other unmentionables. One particular poster advertising men's underwear featured a chiseled model who was apparently very excited about having his picture taken; that or he was suffering from some sort of pubic allergy. As we passed the poster, Pegs pointed it out to her mom and said, "Hey Ma, wanna bouguette?" Yep, that clinches it: I'm going to hell.